


You fool

by Kobuntan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anger, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Love, One Shot, Pain, Romance, Sad, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 09:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2305508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kobuntan/pseuds/Kobuntan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that Erwin is in the hospital, you were forced to visit him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You fool

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no kyojin or its characters.

The sky was painted with melancholy. It was surprisingly cold but, my body felt numb. Not feeling the cold, even though my body was reacting, shivering. I kept walking forward, once or twice bumped into few people, heard their voices but couldn't really puzzle their words. I didn't care, they were being harsh anyway...

_I never claimed to be a saint..._

His words still rang in my mind. I tried to discard those words but, every time I closed my eyes I imagined his face, his lips leaving those words float into the air. Why did he left after such words? I was curious, but afraid at the same time. My feet brought me in front of the hospital where he was lying.

"No, you are no saint. Neither of us is." A whisper left my lips. Although you killed those people, and let people die, I wasn't judging you. I was almost the same, I let my comrades die, too. But I would not sacrifice myself as much as you did, look how you ended. You fool...

  
I looked up at the sky; gray and white colours were having a fight with each other, I took a deep breath and sighed. Are we the same? I wondered. Clenching my fist, I walked into the hospital. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see him, even if I haven't seen him for quite a while. The one who told me; more like forced me, to visit him was Levi. Even though their first meeting wasn't one of the pleasant ones, in the end they found a way to each other, but I would not call them _friends_ myself. Both of them had respect towards each other.

  
I spoke with nurse, she gladly guided me in front of his room. She mentioned that I was the second visit he had today, I wondered who was the first one. After a little chit-chat she politely greeted me and walked away. I looked on the name tag saying; _Erwin Smith_. A shiver ran through my body and I stopped, stood there like a statue. In a second I lost my confidence. I looked like a coward.

 _Is he awake? What am I going to tell him? Is he alright? Is he... angry at me?_ This was that moment when I wanted to take off my head and wash it thoroughly with water.

As if it would help.

  
I placed my hand on the handle, holding it for a while, fighting all my worries and thoughts away. I pushed the handle and opened the door, peeked in like a little child. I saw him lying on the bed, not moving. I saw his injured right arm bandaged, my hand squeezed the handle hardly. My heart aching as if someone would punch it with a hammer. I walked in, closing the door behind me, making no noise. My eyes still looking at him, I slowly walked closer. I could hear a soothing rhythm of breathing, his chest moving up and down. I raised my hand towards him but I stopped, clenching my fingers into a fist, I let my hand fall on its place.

  
I sighed, walked close to the chair and sat on it. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. I wanted to yell at him, tell him to wake up, to look what he has done to himself, to tell him he should've been more careful. But I didn't want to make him feel even more miserable. I placed my hand on his, it was a little warmer than it should be, maybe he had a little fever. My thumb softly caressed his hand, hand which used to hold me. I've been ignoring this big lump in my throat which I felt for a while now, I wanted to tell him many things which were left unspoken. I felt a little bit stronger now, or so I say.

  
"..a..er.." I froze, looking at the source of the sound. His eyes were lightly opened, his lips moving, babbling something. I moved closer so that I could hear him.

"Repeat it, please." I said, waiting.

"W-w..ater.." His voice cracked. I looked around and searched for the water he requested, I found a glass jug lying on the table. I moved towards it, poured water into a cup and walked backed to him, sitting back on the chair. I bit my lip, I had to touch him so that he would be able to drink, damn. I placed my right hand on his nape, holding him and tilting him slightly up. I placed the edge of the cup on his lips. He drank the whole cup.

Carefully, I layed his head back on the pillow, putting the empty cup on the nightstand next to his bed.

  
I looked up at the already staring eyes. Examining me. His look was different, filled with more sadness and anger. I wanted to say something, anything. I opened my mouth to say something but I was cut off.

"You can go now.." He said, clearing his throat. "..you saw what you wanted, now you can go." Erwin's eyes moved away, looking out of the window. Rage was rising in my body, what was he even thinking?

"Now, if you p-" He spoke again, but now I was the one who cut him off.

My eye twitched. "You fool." His eyes moved back at me, looking at me in shock. I never called him a fool before.

"How dare you say something like that, are you really such a fool?" I continued. "I wasn't the one who walked away, don't act like an emotionless hero now. Men are supposed to love and protect their women not hurt them." I blinked faster to push my tears away. I felt his hand on mine, he tried to tell me something.

  
"Don't you apologize now, you already did it, and you felt like doing it back then. Why apologizing for something you felt you did right?" I said again, sighing. He grabbed my hand, making me to look at him. There was silence for a while until he decided to speak again.

"You know I'm sorry for what I did." I hissed, his grip was firm. "But you should also understand that there was no other choi-" Hot-blooded anger raised in me again, I tried to break away my hand from the grip, but I failed. Even injured he was strong.

"You are not going to listen to me now are you?" My head lowered, moving away from his stare. He let go of my hand, I pulled it back on my lap.

  
Suddenly he grabbed my shirt and pulled me to him, facing each other. His eyes narrowed, staring into my eyes as if I'd be his prey.

"Now then, don't you dare try to make a sound until I finish what _I_ wanted to say earlier. I'm still your commander and I'm not going to tolerate such manner towards me. Understood?!" His husky voice always sounded rough but, when it was filled with anger it was frightening. I gulped and nodded. I was scared, for the first time I was afraid of him.

"Good, well then. First of all, I was not planning to leave you like that, I did not want to, trust me. But I had to. I had to leave on that mission, otherwise they would have brought you with them. Of course I couldn't allow that, so I went, instead of you. And secondly, you just called me a fool, twice. What was that for?" He snapped, I wanted to argue that I had the right to call him that way but, after those things he said I didn't wanted to anymore. After all, I still felt a little bit afraid and did not wanted to add fuel to the fire. I'm not _that_ stupid.

  
Staying silent was the only thing I could do, a tear drop rolled down on his cheek, I tried to move back but instead, his hand quickly switched places from my shirt to my nape and pulled me into a hug.

"I apologize for hurting you and leaving without a word." His hand was stroking my hair now. I still felt a little anger inside of me but, now I was pissed at myself.

"Erwin, I don't want to hurt your body even more, please let go." I murmured, wiping tears away.

"I'm alright, more likely." A little chuckle left his lips.

"This is not that time when you are supposed to be laughing you know." I hissed and looked at him.

"I'm glad to hear you calling my name again." He placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Thank you." He said. A frustrated sigh escaped my lips, looking into his blue eyes saying;

" _You fool._ "

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed reading my one shot, please leave a kudos or comment. Thank you!


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